- Me: Harry Potter is, like, the gateway fandom. You start reading the books, then all of a sudden you have a Sonic Screw driver, you're carrying salt everywhere and awkwardly in love with Sherlock Holmes and you don't really know how any of it happened, but you're pretty sure it started because Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursely of 4 Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal thank you very much.
- Friend: I don't even know how to respond to that.
My mother once told me that trauma is like Lord of the Rings. You go through this crazy, life-altering thing that almost kills you (like say having to drop the one ring into Mount Doom), and that thing by definition cannot possibly be understood by someone who hasn’t gone through it. They can sympathize sure, but they’ll never really know, and more than likely they’ll expect you to move on from the thing fairly quickly. And they can’t be blamed, people are just like that, but that’s not how it works.
Some lucky people are like Sam. They can go straight home, get married, have a whole bunch of curly headed Hobbit babies and pick up their gardening right where they left off, content to forget the whole thing and live out their days in peace. Lots of people however, are like Frodo, and they don’t come home the same person they were when they left, and everything is more horrible and more hard then it ever was before. The old wounds sting and the ghost of the weight of the one ring still weighs heavy on their minds, and they don’t fit in at home anymore, so they get on boats go sailing away to the Undying West to look for the sort of peace that can only come from within. Frodos can’t cope, and most of us are Frodos when we start out.
But if we move past the urge to hide or lash out, my mother always told me, we can become Pippin and Merry. They never ignored what had happened to them, but they were malleable and receptive to change. They became civic leaders and great storytellers; they we able to turn all that fear and anger and grief into narratives that others could delight in and learn from, and they used the skills they had learned in battle to protect their homeland. They were fortified by what had happened to them, they wore it like armor and used it to their advantage.
It is our trauma that turns us into guardians, my mother told me, it is suffering that strengthens our skin and softens our hearts, and if we learn to live with the ghosts of what had been done to us, we just may be able to save others from the same fate."
S.T.Gibson (via modernhepburn)
First time I’ve ever heard the advice, “be more like Pippin.”
LotR was meant as an analogy for what it was like to go through war and come home, so this metaphor was absolutely intentional on the author’s part.
"Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
- You do not respect their rights as an individual.
- You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
- You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.
By now, I’m sure a lot of you have seen this post going around where someone points out that the Hot Topic exclusive Homestuck shirt features white-washing where darker skin was depicted in the original art.
However, that post had a million different trains, and the OP wasn’t the one to point it out, so about half the people reblogging it have no idea that the original art was altered.
Even some of those who have seen the evidence are blaming things like lighting, filters, or printing restrictions for the altered design. All of that is bullshit, and I’ll show you why.
For your comparison, this is the original:
(screenshot of this)
And here are some photos I grabbed from Instagram:
As you can see, in each of these, John’s skin tone is much lighter than in the original submitted to the contest. This can only have been done deliberately, and what do we call the deliberate lightening of skin? White-washing!
As I said above, some people are of the opinion that is could have been done for any number of reasons, but it’s plain to see that it’s was done specifically so that each human character would appear white. Why is this obvious?
- The only other colour changes are the colour of shirt it’s printed on, so it can’t be a ‘printing restriction’ based on colour
- These images all have different lighting/angles and were all taken by different people
- Different or no filters have been applied, yet John’s skin is still visibly paler in comparison to everything else than it was in the original
This art was altered with purpose, there’s no two ways about it.
So what can we do?
Don’t stay ignorant. Get mad, and stay mad. Reblog this post. Contact Hot Topic and What Pumpkin to point out what this is and why it’s wrong. Tell everyone you know about how gross it is that this has happened.
what the fuck, hot topic
No, you know what is ignorant? This post. I don’t follow Homestuck and yes, white-washing is a pretty big deal. But look. Printers simply cannot squirt out any color you want them to. Programs like Photoshop will remind you of this fact, too. If the artist does not choose printer-friendly colors in their original work, when it is time to print, the program or even the printer itself will choose the most similar colors it can manage.
"Wah his skintone is the only color that’s changed!" No! It isn’t! The contrast of the blue tones in his outfit are drastically toned down—again, for what the printer is capable of putting out. The two humans beside him (Dave? Rose? I don’t know these people) turn into a much yellower blond, with a more pinkish peachy skintone than the original. The gray of Sunglasses-Man’s pants is lighter. Red turned into maroon.
White-washing IS a problem, but this isn’t. Don’t get yourself in a tizzy just because you feel threatened by inaccuracies.
Honestly this is just as bad as the time they accused the creators of Avatar of white-washing.
Good points… but since you don’t follow Homestuck you might not know that white-washing and choosing only pale skin tones/white features for the human kids is both a large problem and a massive hot-button for many Homestuck fans. It’s come up before with the Kickstarter art, and with some other official art.
So a character going from a brownish to a lighter pinky skin colour, even via printer unfriendly colour choices (which you’d think would be fixed before production!) is pretty big deal.